


edges of reality

by qiaolianmay



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, it's probably sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-23 23:33:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9687338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qiaolianmay/pseuds/qiaolianmay
Summary: Any perfect world without you is not worth living in.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This piece of thing is cowritten with toni (@melindaqiaolian) on twitter. lol this will be fun.
> 
> Disclaimer: Agents of SHIELD is not ours. if it is.. things will be different. enjoy ya kids~

She looked exactly like her, felt exactly like her, but for some reason it felt like something was off, like all of a sudden she was different. She’s more open and a part of him blocked all of the doubts that he was feeling then. Maybe it was because he was thinking more with his heart rather than his head. How long had he been waiting for this, to finally tell her what he felt, remove the boundaries that had prevented him from acting on his feelings? Thirty years? Twenty? He couldn’t remember. It felt like forever from his side. He had been with other people. They both had, but the pull of gravity, the chemistry had been so strong that it seemed like they couldn’t help but be with each other.

Even if it means being just friends.

For the past days, it seemed like she was giving him the opening to finally move forward, to jump to the next level of their complicated relationship was the right thing to do… and he did, and it ended with a nightmare.

They decided to burn the life model decoys so no one would be able to touch the tech. They burned all of them, except for one.  _ Her. _ It. Their only hope and a remnant of what’s left of the original.

It has her face. She said that it has her memories, thoughts, and  _ desires _ . A big part of him wanted it to be real, that what she feels were genuine and that it wasn’t just part of her programming to get close to him and ultimately get the Darkhold. Isn’t this what lead them here in the first place? Him being careless resulting to him losing the woman who means everything to him.

He took one last look at the LMD and left. At first, he thought of heading to his room but he found himself walking to the bunk beside his.  _ Her room _ . He entered the passcode at the pad on the wall. He knew it by heart. She gave it to him when he thought he was deteriorating. When he asked her to shoot him when everything comes to worst. He opened the door and entered silently, as if she was there on her bed reading reports or a classic novel from his collection, not wanting to be disturbed. But she wasn’t. The room was empty and pristine, as if she never left. He stood in the middle for a long time, thinking how in the world he didn’t notice sooner.

_ “Where the hell are you, Melinda?,” _ he muttered.

He walked to her bed and sat on the edge, taking everything in. The green jacket Hunter gave her before he and Bobbi left. She’d been wearing that a lot lately. The black aviators sitting on the bedside table—he wonders what had happened to her favourite purple one. There were two scotch glasses from the last time they were here—him and the robot—they talked about the kids and how they grew stronger after all these time, her parents, their time in the academy. Everything.  

His eyes landed on the photos on her table. The first one was a photo that Daisy insisted the entire team join in. She has a soft smile on her face and her hand was on top of his.

_ Mom and Dad. _

That was their little dysfunctional family. He put that photo down and took the one beside it. It was a photo of them back in the academy. He doesn’t remember ever seeing this one so it must be from her parents’ collection. It was taken at their graduation, with young Phil and Melinda still wearing their dress blues. His right arm was slung around her shoulders and hers wrapped around his waist. They were both smiling from ear to ear, happy that after years of training, drills, and exams, they were finally agents. Both of them were not looking at the camera, but instead at each other. Partners from the very beginning. They looked so young and innocent and carefree, unaware of the tragedies that they’re going to face in this line of job. How many times have they been on the verge of death in the entire course of their lives? Hell, they both died at some point. Phil scoffed, being replaced by a robot wasn’t in the plan, but here they are. He stares at the photo for a long time until he notices small droplets of tears fell onto the glass. He hasn’t noticed he was crying and quickly rubs the back of his hands to his eyes and cheeks. He looks at the photo again and focuses on the smiling face of young Melinda.

_ He needed to find her and tell her. He has to get her back. _

* * *

It was dark.

And wet.

And dirty.

But they eventually found her. Hooked up to different machines. She had a small smile on her face as if she’s in a blissful dream. She was thin, thinner than she was then. With the help of Fitz, they unplugged the wires connected to the machine. She opened her eyes and gasped.

“May.. Melinda,” he called. Melinda looked at her with foggy eyes. She smiled.

“I saved the girl, Phil. I saved her.” She said before passing out.

The ride back to the  base was quiet. Phil was sitting just beside the bed they put her on as Fitzsimmons talk about the machine that they used to her.

“We’re going home now, Melinda.” He whispered as he took her hand. He had a small smile on his face as watched as the lights on his hand glow. “You’re going home.”

The Zephyr landed and Phil watched as Simmons took charge and ordered her people to hastily prepare the lab for Melinda. They all left and he stayed in the middle of the plane. He let out a sigh of relief.  _ She’s home. _

“She’s home AC.” Phil heard from behind him. He looked back and there she was, Daisy, looking at him with a small smile on her face.  He nodded in agreement. 

“Simmons said they put her a lot of medication. She has some bruises too and they weren’t from the straps she was in. She theorized that May escaped couple of times. Tried to anyway, until they found a way to sedate her and kept her still. Fitz is working on figuring that one out.”

He just nodded and started walking away.

“AC… are you okay?” Daisy asked quietly.

“I am. She’s back. I trust Fitzsimmons.” He said and continue walking to exit the plane. He walked with his head hang low.  _ ‘She’s safe now. She’s here. No one will be able to touch her.’ _ He thought.

* * *

She woke up after five days. Phil was there when she did. He tried his best to avoid her by all means necessary. Guilt was eating him alive but he couldn’t leave her alone. Not now. Not ever.

She looked at him with a frown on her face. “You’re dead.” She said after a beat. “I- I saw you die. L-loki stabbed you in the heart.” She murmured. Melinda pulled the hand from his grasp and her heartbeat increases. Jemma came rushing in and had to sedate her. Phil stood up watching as she muttered his death over and over.

_ “I saw you die…” _ Her voice ringing in his ears.

_ ‘What did they do to you, Melinda?’ _

He walked away, he couldn’t be there. He was just making things worse for her recovery. Instead of helping her, he was just making it more difficult for her than already is. Phil remembered how small she was when they recovered her from the shackles of wires and machines. He remembered her telling him how she saved the girl. The girl that was once the cause for her lose herself and now… and not it is as if, he replaced the girl as the reason she’s suffering. He couldn’t do anything and he’s just making things worst.

He needed to leave.

 


End file.
